Something I’ve learned as someone who holds a lot of anxious energy: when you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or triggered, a switch is more easily flipped and your brain goes into protection mode.
You’re fine.
You’re fine…
You’re FINE.
And just like that, you’re actually not.
You’re snapping.
Or shutting down.
Or agreeing to something you do not want.
Which is about the time someone tells you to calm down or not take something so personally.
Which isn’t helpful at all.
Because what’s actually happening isn’t a character flaw.
Its a nervous system response.
As a life coach for brides, I see this more often than I like. Planning a wedding can be a lot. You’re managing emotions, opinions, logistics, money, family dynamics, expectations, and your own shit – all while in a massive life transition.
So when something hits…
A comment
A conflict
Another request to compromise on your wishes…
It doesn’t take much for that switch to flip.
And the worst part is that more often than not, we walk away feeling like we’re the problem. Like we should’ve handled it better, been calmer, been different somehow.
But the truth is, you’re just dysregulated.
Your nervous system is doing exactly what it’s designed to do — protect you.
But protection mode doesn’t always serve you. It doesn’t help you show up as the version of yourself you actually want to be.
That’s where the Power Pause comes in.
The Power Pause isn’t about being as cool as a cucumber, suppressing emotions, or “doing it right”. It’s about interrupting autopilot and by giving yourself a beat and just enough space to get your power back before you react.
It takes maybe 60 seconds.
And has three parts.
Notice.
Regulate.
Choose.
1. Notice
The first step is awareness. So, just notice that you feel yourself getting activated, without any judgment.
Ask yourself:
What am I thinking?
How am I feeling?
Where am I reacting?
You’re not fixing anything.
You’re not making meaning.
You’re just noticing.
Once you notice what’s happening, you’re no longer completely inside it.
2. Regulate
When your nervous system is activated, logic isn’t accessible yet. Your body needs safety first. So, this step is about getting out of your head and back into your body so you can actually think clearly again.
It might look like:
A simple breathwork practice
Placing a hand on your chest
Stepping away from the situation
Moving your body
Or giving yourself some physical space
This isn’t about “calming down.”
It’s about stabilizing enough that you’re not making decisions from stress.
3. Choose
Once the intensity drops, clarity often follows.
Now you get to ask:
What aligns with me here?
What supports my well-being?
What response keeps me in my power?
Maybe you speak up.
Maybe you set a boundary.
Maybe you change your mind.
Maybe you do nothing at all.
Maybe you choose to have the conversation. Maybe you choose to let it go. Maybe you choose to set a boundary, or ask for help, or change the plan entirely.
The point is: you’re choosing. You’re not just reacting to what’s happening. You’re creating your experience.
Why this matters to brides.
Wedding planning easily amplifies things. Old wounds, people-pleasing patterns, family dynamics, societal pressure – it all just tends to come to the surface.
And that’s exactly why this is the perfect time to learn how to pause.
Because when you can regulate yourself in the middle of chaos, when you can choose your response instead of defaulting to old patterns, you’re not just changing the outcome of this moment.
You’re practicing a skill that will serve you for the rest of your life.
You’re learning how to trust yourself. How to stay grounded in your power. How to create an experience you actually love — even when things don’t go the way you hoped.
That’s what the Power Pause gives you: autonomy. Agency. Choice.
And I don’t know about you, but for me – that’s incredible.
